Ditching the Scale

One thing that really helps me keep going in this process is analyzing what I'm doing that's helpful for me on my weight loss journey, and what things hinder me. For the last few days, I've been toying around with an idea, and this morning, I'm ready to follow through on it. I am going to ditch weighing myself for a while. I tend to weigh myself each morning, and often times it's not productive because if the numbers aren't what I want to see, I let that affect my attitude or outlook on the day. I watched the movie Eat Pray Love recently and Julia Roberts wisely spoke about our obsessive compulsive calorie counting, weight-managing selves. She said something to the effect of letting those numbers tell us exactly how much self-loathing we should engage in that day. That struck a chord with me! Self-loathing is not cool, and is so not the point here. The point here is health, wellness, feeling better, looking better, in that order. I'm a little nervous to let go of my friend the scale for a month...he is purely factual and never lies, and shows me progress, one way or the other. On the other hand, I feel a bit of freedom! Feel free to be healthy day in and day out, and not have to worry about the numbers as often. I really do think I let the numbers affect my outlook. Recently I was wanting to post on my blog but realized that again, all I had were negative whinings or ramblings about not wanting to go to the gym, not being close enough to my goal, etc. I hope that removing this object of negativity spurs me onto a more positive outlook.

In other news, for much of the country right now we are in Snowpocalypse 2011! We only got around five inches of snow here, but I hear there are ice and drifts of snow that are causing problems. I am on my second day of "working from home"! Yesterday it was so cold outside that I literally was not going to open my front door all day. I still found a way to work out though, I found a workout video called "Dance Yourself Thin" and actually had a lot of fun with it. Today I plan to bundle up and find my way to the gym.

Alright, so this will be the last time I weigh in for around a month! Currently my weight is at 194.4. We'll see where I'm at in March!

The Plateau

I've been holding steady at around 192.6 for the last 4 or 5 days. I've reached my first plateau. But, I think these can be a good thing in a way. It reminds me that losing weight takes sustained control and willpower. The first ten dropped pretty easy. It's like to really get into these next pounds, my body is testing me to see how serious I am. I know eventually weight loss will probably drop down to 1 to 2 pounds per week, at least that's what I always hear happens in healthy weight loss. Sticking this out now that it slows down will be new territory for me, but I still feel committed. I can still do this!!

I know there are other ways to tell that you're losing weight, such as how clothes are fitting, watching your inches, etc. I never took my measurements at the beginning, but I think I should do that soon. Yesterday I put on a belt with my jeans and noticed that the belt was actually too big, I need to create a new loophole! Yay, waist inches much be dropping! =)

No super exciting plans for today, just going to clean my apartment, go shopping for healthy food, work out, and help my dad plan his wedding that is in two weeks. I'll update this later with what I ate and how I worked out. Have a good Saturday!

Current Weight: 191.8

Finding my Stick-to-it-iveness

Today I've felt like I was scraping at the bottom of my willpower barrel. It's about that time. That time that my typical "successful" weight loss attempts have slipped quietly away, as I secretly hope that others will forget what I was supposed to be working on. I feel resistance towards heading to the gym, and I REALLY want a cheeseburger! I stayed up way too late watching Law and Order SVU on netflix, and woke up late. I ate tacos for lunch, and spent much of the day contemplating skipping my workout.

I think I wanted so badly to skip my workout because today was supposed to be the start of a new routine: cardio plus 30 minutes of weight training, instead of doing sets of 10, I was supposed to do each exercise for 1 minute, and try to not leave much gap space between exercises. Sounds pretty unpleasant to me.

I got a cancellation for my latest appointment of the day, and decided to go home and get this thing out of the way already, being tired of even spending the mental energy on hating what I needed to do before I even started! So I came home. And I did this thing that I do in my head whenever I don't feel like doing something. Rather than thinking about the task at hand, I ask myself, "What's step 1?" Step 1 is find your workout clothes. Step 2, change into them. Etc, etc.
And so I tricked myself into walking into the gym, and then a miracle of willpower happened! I said..."You know what? Screw it. I'm going to beat my running record for last year, right freaking now." Last year I spent a few months preparing for a 5k, and never really ended up being able to run a full 5k, but at the peak of my preparations I was able to run 2 miles without stopping, which I hadn't done since college. So I got on the treadmill and killed it. I did 2.1 miles. =) Deuces, 2010 record!

I then started the weight routine. And...it BURNED! I was going to work on my core, but I didn't see any machines for your core, and there was an attractive guy in the area where I normally do crunches/ab stuff, so I settled on focusing on my arms for today. I didn't do the full 30 minutes. But I'm OK with that, this time. I did three 45 second wall sits, three 1 minute intervals of tricep whatever's, 3 1 min intervals of bicep curls, 2 minutes of rowing, and 2 minutes of lateral pull-downs. I didn't exactly SMASH the weights today, but sticking out the weights for one minute was tiring. I know that muscles are torn, and progress will occur. And probably pain will ensue!

Anyway...today started feeling like the beginning of the end of this whole ordeal. But somehow, I proved something to myself. I can, even when I don't feel like it. And I need to find more ways to "fill up" on health and fitness motivation, because scraping the bottom of my barrel is not a good day-to-day for this journey.

Eating: Breakfast ~ nutrigrain bar, almonds Lunch~ 3 tacos (meh) Dinner ~ To be determined, probably chicken italiano appetizer's (healthier than the name sounds)

Workout: You already heard all about it!

I-Lose

So I have this idea for a fitness product! I think that Apple should probably manufacture it, because it's common-knowledge that if apple makes it, EVERYONE wants one! And they're all about I-stuff, so I think it should be called the I-lose.

The Ilose is an all in one fitness gadget. It is small and ergonomically perfected, as well as oh-so-chic. I'll let their designers decide what it looks like and where you put it on your body, but basically it will be able to tell you how many calories you have consumed (by monitoring body temperature fluctuations, random other scientific blah blah blah, etc), how many calories you've burned throughout the day, it acts as a heart-rate monitor/ personal trainer as you exercise, allows you to download your workout routine stats into your computer for further analysis, AND has your music on it, because that one's just obvious. The main screen would show your TOTAL NET LOSS for the day! I think if you're LOSING, it should be green, and if you're above, meaning you silly person you, you're doing weight loss all wrong...the backlight will be red. Red = you better move some more, chubbs!

I would totally buy one! Ok, besides dreaming up the Ilose today, it's just been what is becoming my typical Monday. Wake up at 7, hit the gym for a bit, go to work, and come home and finally get an evening with the husband after he's been away working all weekend. The meals I'm eating are becoming kind of a safety and routine for me, today I was actually looking forward to my turkey wrap lunch! Also I've had an elated mood today because it's now official, I'm down 10 pounds! I'm 25% through with my new years resolution!

Workout: Cardio-Only Day: Stairmaster: 6 minutes, Elliptical Machine, level 7: 24 minutes. I didn't feel like a rockstar because the workout was pretty short, but I was in a time crunch situation.

Eating: Breakfast ~ Blackberry Yogurt, Banana Lunch: Turkey Wrap, Carrots & Hummus, Apple Sauce Dinner: Bertoli Ravioli with Ragu Pasta Sauce (~500 caloriesish)

Current Weight: 192.6 Total Weight Loss: 10 pounds! =)

The turtle will win the race!

The last few days have been a struggle with this process. I know to lose weight, it's all simple mathematics. Burn more calories than you take in = weight loss. Simple, right? For me, being disciplined is a struggle with my will. I know I need to get to the gym. Yet I'd rather sit around, or go do "fun" things. I got held accountable by the bff last night, and admitted that two days in a row I didn't make it happen. I recommitted myself to higher expectations for myself in working out, and got back into the gym this afternoon.

While in the gym, I'd rather do cardio than anything else. Today after I finished cardio and headed to the weights where I have to do some actually forcing of my will, I questioned myself as to why that is. What I found is that I dislike weight training because it's monotonous and often times, painful either in the moment or a day later. And so is this journey!! Gym routines, planning healthy meals, saying no to cravings, being disciplined at the grocery store: it's not exactly a barrel full of monkeys, you know? But the end result that I want is sooo desirable, it merits these daily sacrifices. In my senior portfolio in high school english, I made a cover page with this ancient asian quote: "There is no brilliant achievement without dull and determined effort." I don't think I could say it better than that.

Exercise: 2 miles on treadmill (1.5 miles jogged at 12 min mile pace, .5 mile walk) 100 crunches on fitness ball, 3 sets of 10 tricep dips, 3 sets of 10 girly pushups, 3 sets of 10 leg extensions (80 pounds, targetting front thighs), 3 sets of 10 Standing Calf weight machine (40 pounds, ouchies)

Eating: Breakfast~ Whole wheat english muffin with jelly, 1 banana, water Lunch ~ Turkey Wrap (Mustard, Lettuce, 2 slices of deli turkey, whole wheat wrap) Carrots with Hummus, water

Current Weight: 194.0

Traversing Glaciers!

I'm baaaaaack! I spent a week in the ATL with my bestie, and had an awesome time. I came home to Kansas and was greeted by freezing rain, totally my least favorite weather, ever. I had a plan to come home, eat healthy, unpack, and workout, but I had some family who needed some help so I didn't get the workout in last night, so I had to promise myself I'd hit the gym in the morning. My body rebelled against every impulse I've taught it in the last week of staying up until the wee hours of the morning and sleeping until the afternoon, it promptly woke me up at 6:30, and I mustered the motivation to traverse the frozen glacier that is my parking lot and hit the gym. I ran farther than I've ran in January thus far, 1.5 miles. I let myself feel proud as I did my quarter mile cooldown, and then I hit the stairmaster, only for five minutes, because that machine HURTS!

I've got a lot of stuff to get done at work today, so I didn't do the muscle toning, but I've told myself today is going to be a day for 2 workouts, I'm going to snuggle up with my wii fit tonight and do some yoga and muscle toning stuff.

I was sobered this morning to see that I went from weighing 194 pre-trip, to now 195.2, but I'm seeing changes in how clothes are fitting, so I will not let this set me back. Just time to power back on down! I will update later tonight with the second workout, and of course the food journal entry.

Have a Happy Thursday!!!! Traverse the glaciers in your life today.

Enlisting support

Something that is dramatically different about my current weight loss focus, is the fact that I have enlisted the help of my best friend, and felt brave enough to mention it to a few other people that I thought might be encouraging. In the past, I have tended to play my cards very close to my chest, due to believing that inevitably I will fail, and the people I tell will be looking at me, scrutinizing to see if change has occurred, and I will disappoint them as well as myself. Looking at it that way, I see how my past attempts have gone down in flames. I had the wrong attitude from the beginning. If you believe you will fail, you will not succeed.

So far, having the support is pretty great. I'm on vacation in Atlanta, but Kim carefully picked out healthy recipes before I arrived, and we are eating delicious, healthy food, in appropriate servings. More than that, having someone remind you of your goals and speak positively that you will reach them, is empowering. I have learned in the past experiences that my will is very breakable, and at some point I'm going to lose my resolve and just want to go back to the old routine which was comfortable, and yummy. It's nice knowing there is a third party I can now call when that seems overwhelming, who can hopefully get me pointed back in the right direction.

Kimmy has no scale at her house, so I haven't been able to tell if any weight loss is ocurring, but making the good choices we've made, I feel confident that at least no gains have been made. That's a pretty awesome feeling for vacation, normally vacations are when I "let loose" and REALLY just do whatever as far as health or nutrition goes.

I'm also attempting to not get comfortable or complacent, by reading or watching things that remind me of my journey at hand. I'm currently reading a novel called Conversations with The Fat Girl, and I saw an ad for a show on Bravo starting tonight called Heavy. I wonder if I can get online and watch it from there once I go back home. Seeing others on their journey is encouraging, too.

I envision success for myself. I can see me sticking it out. I'll never dream of becoming like a size 2, but I want the days of X-Large and double digit jean sizes to conclude. A healthier me is happening. =)